The Guide to Dating a Muslim Girl

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There are a lot of questions that need to be answered: How religious is he? Oh, and by the way.

Our leaders ignore them because they are loyal to the K street Lobbyists in DC. Lovekraft Why do people have such a hard time understanding that Abrahamism and Mohammedism are objective religions, top-down and rules-based? How does Islam help exactly?

The Guide to Dating a Muslim Girl

So this is a pretty common thing nowadays with Muslims and dating. I think after further examining the whole motivation for the relationship in general, you might agree that its definitely the greater of the two evils Assuming dating is evil…WHA!? Afshan Azad: We all know what happened to her when her family found out she was dating a non-muslim For me, non-Muslim dating started in high school. They hardly last after those four years. You are driven to non-Muslims usually because of a lack of accessible Muslim talent and also you still think that everyone else around you thinks dating is completely wrong and no Muslim girl would want to do that with you. Obviously that last sentiment is pretty wrong today but I digress. Another big reason Muslims will date non-Muslims is because where they are in their own lives. Now I know that a lot of Muslims are having premarital sex, I am not ignorant to that, but I still think it is a minority relative to the bigger population. Meaning they have sex in a committed relationship because they are in-love pretty novel idea right? But honestly from personal experience, that is usually true. They understand what dating actually is. We date non-Muslims without a thought of the future but then our cultural and Islamic instincts kick in and we start thinking about marriage after a few months. Yeah, that will definitely lead to a fulfilling life in Islam without ANY confusion whatsoever. Oh and if she agrees to marry you and you have kids? So now your decision making is affecting your children. Basically, you fall in love and then what? More often than not, you guys will break-up. Usually this is a long drawn out process with lots of relapses and hook-ups. Now think about what this has done to you. You put yourself out there and got pretty messed up in the end. Temporary companionship that was doomed from the get-go? Everyone else around you was doing it so you had to? Just wanted to add another picture of her... The things I would do to her.... Small sidebar: Some Muslims just find more in common with non-Muslims. I personally find this difficult to understand because Islam in itself is a way of life. Aside from that, some non-Muslims are very educated about Islam and may just get you as a Muslim in turmoil. They go into relationships with the thought of converting them and marrying them from the get-go and the non-Muslim may also understand this. You befriend more non-Muslims because hey they have more in common with you than the Muslims you do hang out with? They are dating non-Muslim girls as well. You guys drink together and go on double dates. A non-Muslim significant other? Slowly you can lose yourself and whatever Islamic Identity you have left. A relationship that was probably doomed to begin with. There you have it. I laid it out there for you. Still feel the same way? But one thing seriously rubs me the wrong way, I get you put Afshan Azad in the article as eye candy but the caption you put is ridiculous in the context of the article. Is she supposed to be a warning or cautionary tale to those muslims who date non-muslims? In many cultures, particularly immigrant ones, everybody has a say in your love life, particularly true if you are a Muslim. What happened to her was serious though, not just battling parental disapproval, or even being disowned. Her dad and brother tried to kill her, and she luckily escaped. She dropped the charges because she thought it would put her even further in danger. What happened to her could have escalated into an honor killing, if you cite her as an example I think you should include that what happened is not normal nor should it be an expected consequence. In fact it is revolting. My intention for adding her was to make a joke. I understand that these things are serious and do happen in certain cultures honor killings. I understand that it may have been offensive to some people such as yourself but I honestly use this blog to make light of serious situations that plague the Muslim community in general. I get why you are upset over this particular reference in general but try to take it like you might take other posts. The Codename: Oracle post made light of a very serious situation involving American Muslims and the influence of Islamaphobia. My post on Muslims and relationships made light of a very big sin in Islam. We may not perceive it as such but it is. Dating leads to fornication and even pre-marital sex. All very grave sins in Islam. So I understand your emotions toward it but I also ask you why only that upset you and not me making light of other things? It is a cultural phenomena that, like boudicaspeaks rightly pointed out, affects far more women than men. This is is a manifestation of patriarchy. It is far from funny. I would direct you towards this post to learn more: Maybe not all your readers know what happened to Afshan Azad? Are your articles only meant as jokes? I thought the point was to address serious topics with a comedic edge. Not insulting the article, I think it makes good points. It is something I wanted to bring attention to that maybe he or other readers had not considered before. We hear these things enough but maybe never think about all the repercussions of our actions. Now with that being said, I took a giant leap in thinking most people may know who she is. She is a character from a hit book tuned into a movie series. A simple Google search of her name would have brought up all you need to know on the issue. I agree with what you said and perhaps using her as eye-candy for this post may have been insensitive and cause people to not fully understand what happened to her. I appreciate you voicing your opinion on it and will take it into consideration for future posts. This post is meant to spotlight the difficulties of a Muslims — non-Muslim relationship and how they can have an adverse affect on the Muslim. I do believe that it does make NO sense sometimes but there have been numerous cases, just in my extended family alone, where it has worked out amazing for them. This also leads into my Muslims Dating post, where the negative is listed there as well. PERFECT time-pass until you get your muslim act together! I generally do enjoy your posts but I feel like this one is lacking any insight whatsoever and even sort of laced with prejudice. Making statements that people are less relate-able based on religion not only makes the idea of intimate inter-religious relationships moot, but friendship, too. I know Muslim parents that perpetuate that and only let their 7 year olds bring their Muslim friends home to play. And equally true is the fact that by virtue of dating a Muslim girl, you are not necessarily more likely to lead a more Islamic life—you are equally capable of living in sin together. I just want to say that we are all entitled to our own opinions. BUT just because someone says something you disagree with or you feel strongly about personally does not mean they are not insightful in what they say. It is a sin itself and only leads to more sinning. They either remind each other to pray or even keep each other from succumbing to certain peer-pressures. In my post I made sure to explain the Muslim I was talking about. Try and keep those descriptions in mind. All you are doing is compounding more sins on top of more sins. But as I stated above, you are more likely to get some good out of dating another Muslim than you are a non-Muslim. On the other side of that, I think non-Muslims are VERY capable of appreciating Islam, which is why it is one of the fastest growing religions and also very diverse. But aside from the converts, there are a lot of inter-faith groups Hindu, Christian, Jewish that appreciate Islam and work together with Muslims. Outside of that and in the context of dating, I know a lot of Muslims who married non-Muslims. This stemmed from the Muslims behaving the way a Muslims should respectful, helpful, nice, etc.. Again, paying attention to the Muslim I described. Now, I think the logical jump you made was pretty stupid. Muslims are a minority after all. A young child is influenced by his friends and surroundings the same, if not more, than they are as adults. I have plenty of non-Muslims friends and so do a lot of other Muslims. Even real shaykhs and scholars have non-Muslim friends. There is nothing wrong with that at all. But being one Muslim in a group of 8 non-Muslims really puts a pressure on you practicing your religion. There is no reminder to pray or to remember Allah SWT except for yourself. Constantly being exposed to ideals other than Islamic ideals can wear you down over time. Sorry this got kind of long but I felt you needed an adequate response since you have obviously taken what I wrote personally. If I missed any point you made in your previous comment, let me know and I will try and address it for you. I totally agree with Isfahan and am relieved to hear this opinion. I have made huge efforts to understand Islam so I can understand muslim friends more. There are so many similarities between your faith and mine Christianity. I respect and admire Islam and I also respect and admire the religion I was raised by. The central tenets are the same. I am not without values! You cannot imagine how hurtful it is to know that many muslims see non muslims as just a bit of fun until they find their muslim wife. I date with a view to a future, with a view to love, with a view to growing with another person and becoming better. I am aware of it everyday. I try to help my friend in every way, fully respecting his efforts. I DO NOT try to deviate him from his path. I take part by being respectful and volunteering for local charity and by trying myself to be a better person. I sometimes feel that my efforts to learn about Islam far outweigh the efforts of non muslims I know to understand my spirituality. I have the same values, I am a worthy and good person who is open minded, respectful and supportive. People come to the U. If parents hate diversity and want to raise their kids with only other Muslims, that has nothing to do with their reason for coming to the U. Finally, Shaykh, there are some issues in your initial article which raised several concerns. Sure, I may have more in common with my Muslim brothers because we try to pray and abstain from drinking. Again, I feel like anything I just said was disregarded. I described specific Muslims for each and EVERY scenario I pointed out in my post. I am not closed off from other perspectives and even put in disclaimers stating that this is not true in all cases and then went on to make a few examples. NOTHING we write about applies to every single person out there. There are a million reasons that Muslims might feel generally more comfortable around other Muslims. It has nothing to do with prejudice or discrimination. As a Muslim myself, I think Islam is a way of life, even if one disregards our prayers, or our views on modesty. As a Muslim, I am thinking about Allah SWT in all my actions. I DO believe that any interactions I have in which I do not mention Allah SWT are not blessed. That being said, Shaykh has a valid point and I think that I personally can totally relate to what he is saying. I have non-Muslim friends as well but I cannot see myself spending the rest of my life with someone who knows even less about Islam than I do. My constant struggle with Islam is to gain enough knowledge to somehow educate someone else. A lot of us fall into doing these un-Islamic things. I DO think Shaykh made it pretty clear that he was talking about a particular type of Muslim. If you read the post, Shaykh outlines these intentions pretty extensively. The issue is not what you write. The issue is how you write it. I personally think disclaimers detract from argument, which I called out Isfahan for, and that a reasonable position can be taken without making disclaimers. None of us speak for Muslims in general, and therefore such generalizations should be avoided, as it implies you are speaking from the perspective of the general population of Muslim Americans, not specifically yourself. Posts are getting long enough as is. As for not seeing the distinctions…. I am a filipino medicine student and in a relationship with a muslim. He was my classmate. Every relationship is different. I personally have been witness to it working out and witness to it not working out. These are questions you need to be asking him and not someone else who has no idea what the details of the situation are. There are a lot of questions that need to be answered: How religious is he? Does he find marrying a Muslim important? What is his relationship with his parents? What are his parents attitude towards marrying a non-Muslim? How interested are you in Islam? Those are all important factors, but at the end of the day, I would suggest asking him. Those could be academic interests, hobbies, sense of humour. For instance, I love poetry. I love meeting people who love poetry as much as I do. Those other poetry-lovers I meet often become my close friends. They are Muslims and non-Muslims. Values, principles, world-views differ even within the Muslim community. I am eighteen years old, and have never dated. I respect Muslims who practice pre-marital sex, but I would never do it. In the future, I would date any good man no matter whether he is Muslim or not, as long as he respects certain of my values eg: no pre-marital sex. Not all Muslims follow all the teachings of Islam as strictly as others. Because Islam is a religion that teaches basic human etiquette and respect for oneself as well as others it is easy to see these qualities in non-Muslims as well. Not all Muslims want that and not all Muslims need that but there it is. Thanks for sharing your opinion. Idk if this site is still active but I felt like I had something to say. I see where everyone coming from. My friends and I all non muslims that have dated muslims knows that 9 out of ten times its not gonna work. Idk how we make it work lol. I completely see where you are coming from and if its good for you and your bf then i hope things end up working out. This usually happens because Muslims have become a judgmental group and non-Muslims are much more understanding towards everyday struggles which is sad. My post was speaking towards the majority of practicing Muslims. Thanks for sharing that story. I know it sounds stupid and obvious but if you are having doubts and worried about sinning then I think maybe you should really think about what you are doing. With that being said, does that mean there is no coming back from it? Of course there is. We all make mistakes and whether we realize them right away or years down the road we should always ask for forgiveness from Allah. Allah created us to not be perfect. We are supposed to turn to him for everything good and to help with anything bad. If you sin then that is on you. You made the decision to do what you wanted to do because of your own desires instead of sacrificing those desires for something better later on. Be disappointed in yourself when you sin and use that as a reason to turn to Allah and ask for forgiveness and help. I hope this helps you with whatever decision you decide to make. I thoroughly enjoy reading this post and I do agree that a Muslim and non Muslim relationship is bound to be doomed from the very start. I, for one, do not condone to such activities and behaviors because I believe in my own values, the principles that I set for myself. He was very much non religious , until one fine day when he told me that he can see himself as a religious man in future. That made me chuckle abit and jaw dropping at the same time. No offence on the Muslims but based on statistic in my country, we can see that the Muslims women have higher pregnancy rates before marriages, Muslims have higher divorce rates , higher employment in blue collar jobs, higher rate of school dropouts. Sure , they are fantastic people , but they, can only date people of their own. Lets put it blunt here. And frankly I find ALL extremely devote monotheistic faiths just another side of the same 2-headed coin, with all same twisted motives. I love and respect everything about Islam. I think one of the reasons I was attracted to my Muslim man was that we share many of the same principles. He and i have never been anything but ourselves around each other. He is not trying to convert me. Is it just an exception? Or do you think with enough understanding and compassion, two people can make it work?

I think, and God knows best, that this position is not reasonable and the evidence social it is not very strong. No problem, yes I hope everyone can understand and arrive at a good solution to this clash of cultures. In Sex Muslim women consider making their husbands happy in bed a job. Qadri and other panelists see a kind of solo version emerging in the United States, where the young do choose their own mates, but the parents are at least partly involved in the process in something like half the cases. Islam allows any male and female muslim dating non muslim girl see and know each other but within limits of veil, ethics and sin while dating is totally a different concept and act. Photo Men and women lined up to register. God wants nothing more for his creation than harmony and happiness. Just like only 10% of the people in Iraq has genes that traces back to ancient Mesopotamia. Americans in for need to be made aware of the blatant hypocrisy of American Zionists who support the Israeli state but allow the occupation and segregation of the Palestinian state. You, definitely heard that stories about some husband in Arabic country who had killed his unfaithful wife and then was met by the court, because murder of the infidel is not a murder at all.